


you are a star, you will always shine

by walcheu



Series: let my star rise on your night [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:30:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walcheu/pseuds/walcheu
Summary: "We looked cute," Satoko had said, eyes lighting up at the notification she had received from Yuzuru. She gave Yuzuru a thumbs-up indicating that she had received the picture and then brought the screen to Shoma's face. "You look so comfortable on my lap."





	1. you are a star, you will always shine

Shoma came home to an empty apartment, which was weird because it was Wednesday and Itsuki did not have hockey practice on Wednesdays. Setting his backpack aside, Shoma plopped himself onto the couch and sat there for a while, thinking. It wasn't like Itsuki to come back after he did and also unlike him to be home later and not leave a text message at least. Shoma swiped at his phone and frowned at the notifications. Two messages from Satoko, one from his mother. A ton of notifications from the Team Japan group chat but none from Itsuki. Strange.

 _Hey. I just got home. Where are you?_ Shoma typed into the chat and waited for his brother to come online.

Itsuki did, in a few seconds, but gave no reply. Shoma watched the tick icons next to his message turn blue. Very strange. Itsuki’s too busy to text back?

It had been nearly 10.30 p.m. when Shoma heard the door click and the sounds of keys jangling. Itsuki. He got out from his bed and stepped out of the bedroom. Itsuki was in his workout clothes and he looked exhausted.

“You’re home late,” Shoma remarked, watching Itsuki head to the kitchen bathroom to wash up. “I texted you earlier. Did you see? You had practice today?”

“Yeah,” Itsuki replied. He wiped his face and picked up his backpack from the ground, ready to head to his room. “No practice today. I- I just went to workout at the gym after school.” Itsuki’s avoiding eye contact and doing that one-worded replies when he was hiding something or when he was lying. He was also ending the conversation quicker than usual and it felt funny because Itsuki was definitely the chattier of the two. Shoma raised an eyebrow.

“Are you alright?” Shoma asked, careful to keep his voice steady. He watched Itsuki stop in his tracks, still not facing him.

“Yeah,” Itsuki mumbled, so soft that Shoma could have imagined it, before slamming the door shut.

Shoma considered knocking and pressing for a better answer but he remembered himself at sixteen, tired and angry, bogged down with school and skating and he remembered wishing the world would slow down for a bit. He remembered craving for some time alone to himself and so he let it slide. Itsuki would feel better in the morning.

He texted a _good night_ to Itsuki and sent it before he chickened out, knowing how lame it was to text when they were just next door and in the same house. Itsuki did not reply.

It happened again the next day and then, the next. Itsuki coming home after him and refusing to talk, mumbling about practice and working out and catching up with school. Shoma’s texts were returned with a word or two, and any time Shoma pressed for an answer, Itsuki clammed up and made excuses about his fatigue before heading to his room. Shoma thought of asking their mother but later decided otherwise lest it worried her, leading her to confront Itsuki herself and getting his younger brother into trouble.

“Hey,” Shoma greeted Itsuki who stumbled out of his room, rubbing at his eyes and looking as sleepy as ever. “I’ve made some omelette and sausages. Want some?” He gestured at the dining table and smiles. It was rare for Shoma to be at home (and awake) this early in the day, and even rarer for him to make breakfast. Itsuki had always liked Shoma’s omelettes.

“I’m not hungry,” Itsuki replied. He sat himself on the couch, yawning before he stretched for a while. Shoma watched his brother reached for the remote control to turn on the television. “I’ll get some food later at school.”

“It’s Saturday,” Shoma said as he stuffed the eggs into his mouth. They tasted good, Itsuki really shouldn’t miss breakfasts, especially when he’s the one making them. “You haven’t been home a lot these days…”

Itsuki sighed loudly in response. The defiant kind of sigh when he was annoyed with Shoma but he didn't want to say it. Shoma looked up.

“What?” Shoma asked, slowly, trying to gauge Itsuki’s expression from the side. He got up, carrying the plate of food and set it down at the coffee table. He stood by the couch and waited. Itsuki’s eyes were trained on the television, his arms folded across his chest, and Shoma found his silence disconcerting. “Are you alright?”

Itsuki didn't reply but reached for the remote once more, jabbing at the control button with a finger to increase the volume, as if he didn’t hear Shoma’s question. Rude.

“Itsuki.” Shoma’s voice came out harsh and stern. He stood in front of the television and stared at his brother who was once more avoiding making eye contact. Shoma reached for the remote and muted the sound of the television. Itsuki looked up at him and glares. Shoma glared right back. “I asked you a question.”

Itsuki got up, huffing in annoyance. He was a little taller than Shoma now but Shoma was older and stronger and angrier. Itsuki’s ignoring him was one thing but getting up to leave in the middle of a conversation, when Shoma had been  _trying_ to find out what went wrong, was just rude. This wasn't the brother he helped to bathe when young, this wasn't the brother he stayed up all night for at the hospital. This was angsty, insolent Itsuki purposely ignoring Shoma for no good reason.

“I’m going to get some food,” Itsuki said tersely, heading to the dining table, his back on Shoma.

“You said you weren’t hungry.”

“I am now.”

“Look, why are you-“

Itsuki forcefully pulled the chair out, effectively silencing Shoma, before reaching for a plate and scooping some food onto it.

“Can you stop with that attitude?” Shoma snapped, sitting himself down across his brother. He watched Itsuki set down the fork and folded his arms once more. “Honestly, what’s going on with you?”

“Can you just shut up?” Itsuki snapped right back, his eyes flashing with annoyance. “Why do you even care?”

 


	2. we are made of star-stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Itsuki. You know you can talk to me, right? If there's anything bothering-" Shoma starts, leaning forward, his eyebrows knitted with worry. He watches Itsuki cast his eyes downwards before realizing that he is trying not to cry. "Are- are you okay? Itsuki."

_Why do you even care._

Shoma felt something burn in his chest, his neck starting to prickle with anger as he took a deep breath to calm himself down. The words had stung. Of course Shoma cared. They had always gotten along well, fights between them were rare given their mild tempers. Sure, Itsuki ran his mouth sometimes but it was always harmless fun and Shoma didn't really mind. He tried recalling their past interactions before Wednesday, tried to find anything he might have said or done to anger Itsuki, anything at all that might have warranted this situation. He drew a blank. Itsuki was staring at his untouched plate of food and refusing to meet Shoma's eyes.

"I don't want to fight with you," Shoma finally said his voice small, pleading. Itsuki unfolded his arms and visibly let out a long breath. Shoma felt himself relaxing. "Please, tell me what's wrong. Why are you being like this?"

"It's nothing," Itsuki mumbled. He picked up a fork and jabbed at the eggs. "I- I didn't mean to say that to you. I'm sorry." He looked up and offered the tiniest smile before refilling Shoma's glass. An attempt at making peace.

"Itsuki. You know you can talk to me, right? If there's anything bothering-" Shoma started, leaning forward, his eyebrows knitted with worry. He watched Itsuki cast his eyes downwards before realizing that he was trying not to cry. "Are- are you okay? Itsuki."

Shoma got up and stood by Itsuki's side before cupping his brother's face, thumbing away the tears that had escaped. The burn in his chest was gone and was then replaced by a different kind of warmth. Worry. "What is it?" Shoma whispered, his voice cracking with the effort to keep calm, one hand at the back of Itsuki's head and rubbing it. Itsuki buried his face in Shoma's chest and cried.

Shoma waited till Itsuki was done, occasionally stroking the back of his head softly. There were a lot of things in the world that he can bear, the crushing pressure of being one of Japan's top men in his sport, the aches in his feet or just about everywhere, losing in competitions and everything painful about being a national athlete but Itsuki's teary eyes and pink cheeks fresh from crying was definitely not one of them. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. Nothing made his precious kid brother cry like this. Shoma cannot bear that.

"I had a fight with Kenji," Itsuki finally confessed, wiping at his own cheeks. Kenji was his best friend whom he had known since kindergarten. Now Shoma was finally starting to understand. While fights with Kenji were also rare, they did happen sometimes and when they happened, Itsuki tended to be moody because the two of them were inseparable. Shoma could only imagine how lonely school must had been for Itsuki without his best friend. "And now we're not talking. It sucks."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shoma took a step back, and pinched Itsuki's cheeks. "Or do you want to game and talk about it?"

He watched Itsuki's lips curl upwards into a smile. He knew the answer because there was no way that Itsuki would spend that beautiful Saturday morning at school, catching up with schoolwork or working out be damned.

As it turned out, Kenji and his family would be leaving Japan in the next two months because of Kenji's dad's job. Itsuki was upset, naturally, because he had assumed that Kenji had waited that long to break the news to him when in fact, the Nakayama family had just known of the news as well. Kenji seemed to be as suprised as Itsuki, Shoma thought aloud, and was probably having a harder time dealing with the move because he had to leave his whole life in Nagoya and start anew. Itsuki buried his head in hands, groaning, upon hearing Shoma's words.

"I'm a terrible friend," Itsuki lamented as Shoma paused their game. "I've been ignoring him almost the whole week."

"Like you've been ignoring me," Shoma said, no bite in his voice but it made Itsuki wince nevertheless. He laughed and reached out to ruffle Itsuki's hair. "It's fine. I get it. You should ask him to come over?"

Itsuki tilted his head, clearly uncertain if that would be a good idea. Shoma got up, reached for Itsuki's cellphone on the table and tossed it on the couch, right by Itsuki's side. "Text him. See what he says."

Shoma left the room, intending to pack for his afternoon training later that day. He was glad to have had the morning off and finally catching up with Itsuki, especially after the rough couple of days of his... friendship problem. Which was no longer a problem when he hear Itsuki yelling out "See you later, shit face!", definitely on the phone with Kenji who was also definitely coming over probably to game the day away. He smiled and continued packing.


	3. different colors of the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoko rolls her eyes at that but laughs when Shoma whines softly at her. Shoma is not the most romantic boyfriend there is but he does have his moments. This is one of them. "I miss you more, Mr Uno. Someone's been too busy to reply to my texts, I see?"

Itsuki had not closed the door to his bedroom completely, allowing Shoma to peek through the small opening. He watched Itsuki set up the game that he was about to play with Kenji, who was sitting at the foot of his bed. Kenji mumbled something, inaudible to Shoma, making Itsuki stop fiddling with the set up and stare at him.

"I forgive you," Shoma heard Itsuki say firmly, watching him walk over to Kenji and giving his shoulder a pat. "It's just... I'm not Shoma, you know. It sucks when you put it like that."

Upon hearing his name, Shoma froze. He wondered if whatever Kenji had said was the true reason for the cold shoulder Itsuki had given him the past few days. For a second, he considered barging in and asking why he was mentioned but he decided against it, realizing that if it was anything important, Itsuki wiould not hide it from him. Shoma turned and headed back to his own room to get his skating equipment for training.

"I'm leaving!" Shoma called out, walking towards the door of their apartment. He heard Itsuki scrambling out of his bedroom, and he smiled. Kenji followed suit, a strange expression flickering across his features before offering Shoma a tiny smile. Shoma smiled back, saying "Good to see you, Kenji."

Kenji nodded once and opened his mouth to say something but Itsuki had beaten him to it, giving Kenji a look that didn't at all escape Shoma's eyes. Smiling sweetly at  Shoma, he nudged his older brother towards the door of the apartment. "I'll see you later, I guess?"

"Yeah," Shoma said, digging an elbow to Itsuki's stomach. He laughed when Itsuki thumped him on the back, ushering him out once more. He narrowed his eyes in mock suspicion, "Why are you chasing me out? What are you up to?"

"Nothing," Itsuki replied, shaking his head. Shoma gave him a look. Itsuki laughed. "Honestly, Just go for training, your Coach is waiting for you."

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

Shoma wrapped a towel around his hip, picking his dirty clothes deftly with a foot instead of his hands before throwing them into the laundry basket. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed his phone screen lighting up and quickly walked towards his bed where the phone was, picking it up and smiling at the notifications he had gotten from Satoko.

 _Hey, Sho ♡_  Satoko's message had read. She had sent a couple of pictures of her lunch with her university friends. As usual, Satoko's plate had been filled with vegetables and other green looking stuff that Shoma would never put in his mouth unless forced. He typed  _nice lunch. Ha._  and pressed send, looking around his room for a second, considering if he should game or just continue messaging his girlfriend till they both fall asleep. The latter honestly sounded like such a deal since he was fatigued from the training earlier; Satoko always had a way to make him feel better about these things, after all.

He didn't have to think for long as Satoko's face filled up his screen. A video call. Shoma accepted the call, casting his intentions to game aside, and threw himself onto his bed, still very much undressed and with his hair wet from the shower earlier. Satoko wrinkled her nose at him as a greeting.

"Do you not own a shirt?" Satoko said. "And yes, my lunch was delicious thank you very much. I never knew you were interested in vegetables."

"No shirt. And I've never been interested," Shoma replied cheekily, beaming at her. He made a kissy face and said, "I've missed you, Satton."

Satoko rolled her eyes at that but laughed when Shoma started to whine softly at her. Shoma was not the most romantic boyfriend in the world but he did have his moments. This had been one of them. "I miss you more, Mr Uno. Someone's been too busy to reply to my texts, I see?"

Shoma shot her an apologetic look. "Training," he offered, shaking his head. He watched her smile at him affectionately, before offering a tight-lipped smile himself at the words he was going to tell her next, "I haven't been nailing my jumps as of late. It's frustrating. I don't..." He trailed off, rubbing at his face in frustration at the memory of the numerous falls he had that afternoon. His hip hurt. His feet felt worse. "I wish. I wish I can see you, babe. How's life for you?"

Satoko nodded in sympathy, lips pulling downwards as she watched Shoma takes a deep breath. Propping her chin with a pillow, Satoko softly confessed, "I had a bad fall during training today." Shoma's eyes widened at her words before his forehead creased with worry. He waited for her to continue, watching her inhale deeply to calm herself down. "My ankle hurts. I think it's nothing but Coach wants me to get it checked tomorrow. I'm... quite reluctant."

"Oh," Shoma said, worriedly. He frowned at her before softening at the pout she gave him. Careful to keep his tone light, Shoma said, "You should've told me immediately. And for the record, you should listen to your coach. Get it checked."

"I didn't want to worry you," Satoko reasoned, sighing. "It's not that serious. It hurts but you know, I've had worse."

"You're impossible," Shoma muttered, shaking his head at Satoko. He sat up, one hand holding his phone so his view of Satoko's face would not be disrupted. He knew that he didn't have to remind her but Satoko needed to hear it. "If you let it be, it'll get worse."

"I don't want to miss any more training than I have to, Sho. You know how it is." Her voice sounded strange, thick, like she was about to cry but Satoko blinked a few times and gave him a shaky smile instead. Shoma smiled back and wordlessly pursed his lips, sending an air kiss. He laughed when Satoko did the same.

"Satton," he whispered and that was enough to break the dam. He watched Satoko take a deep breath before bursting into tears, her phone slipping off her hand inevitably causing Shoma's view of her face to disappear and instead filling the view with her ceiling; Satoko obviously refusing to allow him watch her cry like that. The sound of her crying was enough to make him lie back and place a hand on his chest because now it felt tight with worry. He wondered if Satoko can hear his thundering heartbeat at her tears. "It's okay. If you say it's nothing, it's nothing. It's okay," He said to the ceiling and heard Satoko cry even harder. Shoma waited.

"Ah," Satoko breathed shakily, after a few minutes of the outburst, face filling up the screen once more. It takes all of Shoma's facial muscles to not look overly worried, knowing that his girlfriend hated that more than anything. Satoko looked exhausted, as if that cry has taken so much more out of her, eyes rimmed red and her cheeks wet with tears. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I was looking at your ceiling actually," Shoma said softly, the playful lilt in his voice slowly edging out a smile from Satoko. "And I didn't hear anything. The sound of your AC is quite strong."

"I love you," Satoko replied before lying on her front, and bringing the screen so close to her face that till all that Shoma saw for a few seconds were her eye and her eyelashes, very much moistened from the crying earlier. "I love you so much, Shoma."

"I love you, too," Shoma whispered. "So much."

They talked for a while more, Satoko sharing about her day and trying to avoid talking about the training earlier lest she activated another waterworks session that she _and_ Shoma had to endure. It was pretty late into the night. She was grateful Shoma had been there for her, ever so gentle and thoughtful with his words and how he had played along, pretending not to have heard her breakdown although she's sure that he'd definitely talk about it when they meet in person. She agreed to get her ankle checked especially when Shoma has been so careful in his persuasion, knowing more than anything than her boyfriend had been right. Watching Shoma yawn for the third time, Satoko called it a night and they ended the video call with Shoma pulling a particularly funny kissy face, sending Satoko into a fit of giggles.


	4. you're a sky, full of stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We looked cute," Satoko had said, eyes lighting up at the notification she had received from Yuzuru. She gave Yuzuru a thumbs-up indicating that she had received the picture and then brought the screen to Shoma's face. "You look so comfortable on my lap."

It wasn't until a year into their relationship that they had to talk publicly about it.

There had been many questions, too many questions that they had been advised to release public statements, after fans spotted them together in a restaurant in Nagoya. It was a day after a competition and Shoma had stupidly thought they could go on a quiet date and have a quiet dinner together while Satoko was still in his city. The fans that started the whole shenanigan had been awfully sweet in front of Satoko and Shoma, asking for pictures and autographs but went on their social media accounts later that night to post speculations about their relationship, especially when there had always been rumors about the two of them being in a relationship, even back in their junior days. They had seen Shoma feeding Satoko some of his food, had seen the way he tucked her hair behind her ear and then before, how Shoma had embraced Satoko when she first arrived in the restaurant, sweetly kissing her cheek as he helped her get into her seat. They recounted all of these in a series of tweets, thankfully with no pictures apart from the ones they had taken with their permission, and inevitably, the posts blew up and of course by the morning, their faces had been splashed across the tabloids and both their management teams had been bombarded with questions about their relationship.

Satoko had been calm, Shoma was pretending to be calm but on the inside, multiple times, he had been freaking out. While he wasn't as popular as Yuzuru, Shoma was still the number two and not just in Japan but also in the world and that had some bearing on his reluctance to go public about them dating. Whether it was Satoko or not, Shoma was violently possessive about things and people personal to him. Revealing news about his love life did nobody any good except mongering gossip and the thought of it made him felt sick. He'd seen some nasty comments about himself -- a cheat, only good with daddy's money, his terrible jump techniques, Unoflation -- but to think that now, some of those unwanted attention would somehow be on Satoko, too, felt... It made him feel weirdly protective over Satoko, although they had both agreed that Shoma had never been the jealous type nor a protective boyfriend in the traditional sense of the term, because he knew how nasty and possessive some netizens tend to be, despite him being an athlete and not an idol.

Yuzuru had experienced it before, and he had been upset about it, and honestly Shoma was not eager to get that kind of attention. Relaying some of these worries to his girlfriend, Shoma watched Satoko nodded sympathetically before smiling. She thought it was better that they came clean before any more rumors sprung up; it was a lot easier to be out in the open than to hide their relationship, she had reasoned. Her hands felt warm in his and with that gentle persuasion, and with an even gentler kiss to his cheek, Shoma had agreed and so the both of them had posted a little entry on their respective blogs.

He had provided just a paragraph, briefly introducing Satoko as his girlfriend. He had wished for everybody's support and ended the post with a completely random note about the latest anime he had caught, recommending it to his readers. Satoko's post was even better, a picture (taken by Yuzuru) of the both of them sitting on the floors backstage, Satoko leaning her back against the wall with Shoma's head on her lap as he gamed on his phone. She had been reading a book. It was awfully candid and sweet that Satoko had asked for the photo to be sent to her the second Yuzuru showed it to them, even though it earned him a punch to the arm from Shoma. She added a one-liner _How our dates look like in the past year; a bookworm and a gamer completely in their own element._ Shoma laughed when he read the caption. Satoko had always managed to capture the most important things with very little words, her eloquence shining through even with a simple picture and a caption.

"We looked cute," Satoko had said, eyes lighting up at the notification she had received from Yuzuru. She gave Yuzuru a thumbs-up indicating that she had received the picture and then brought the screen to Shoma's face. "You look so comfortable on my lap."

"I'm always comfortable with you," Shoma murmured, snuggling up to Satoko and beaming into the crook of her shoulder when she pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

Three years on, and Shoma doesn't think it will get any better than this. They had just completed their competitive season and were busy with a flurry of ice shows amidst preparation for the next season. Not that Shoma had anything to complain about as the ice shows were often the place he and Satoko could meet up, not only for date nights and the likes but simply to reunite with the other skater friends they had. It wasn't always that everyone gathered in the same place, without the competition stress. The atmosphere had always been laidback and generally pretty chill and a lot of fun and while Shoma had always enjoyed competing, he could definitely foresee himself enjoying the life of a professional skater, not competing, attending ice shows and expressing himself through performances. He was interested in the artistic side of figure skating, too. It was what that made figure skating so enjoyable, so beautiful and yet challenging enough for his competitive nature, requiring equal parts athleticism and artistry.

The first day of practice started well, Shoma had awoken from sleep feeling excited because he would finally be able to meet his girlfriend. Satoko had been attending summer school for a week and had been a little busy with assignments to properly talk with Shoma the past week and so he had been looking forward to finally meeting her in person at the ice show. He smiled widely when he caught sight of her entering the rink, one hand beckoning her over as Yuzuru whooped in delight, clearly ready to tease.

"Someone's girlfriend is here," Yuzuru remarked cheekily, swiftly skating over to where Shoma had been standing and giving his shoulder a squeeze, before a hand winded up on his face, tickling his jaw. "Look at your face. _Whipped_."

Wakaba, who had been nearby, burst out laughing before sheepishly breaking down into giggles instead when Shoma shot her a glare. He pushed Yuzuru away, keeping his eyes trained on Satoko's approaching figure.  "We all know you haven't seen Satton in a while," Wakaba had said, breaking into laughter once more when he scowled at her. "That face is completely understandable."

Watching Satoko greet Yuzuru and Wakaba, and then giving Wakaba a hug, Shoma opened his arms and smiled when Satoko skated right into them. But almost immediately, Shoma could tell that something was wrong when Satoko pulled away quickly, barely giving him enough time to leave a kiss on her cheek. She had smiled when Shoma quietly asked if she was okay, shaking her head and muttering about warming up before skating away from him, holding hands with Wakaba as they skated towards where the rest of the skaters were preparing for warm ups.

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

The practice ended slightly after six, just in time for dinner and while Shoma had been busy running through the program and the performance he shared with Nathan and Keiji, he couldn’t help but think of his earlier interactions with Satoko. If anyone noticed their distance, they never mentioned it and truth be told, Shoma and Satoko had never been one to indulge in public displays of affection even if most of them on the ice shows were good friends.

Shoma found Satoko backstage, completely knackered after the day’s practice, sitting on a bench and having a swig of water.

"Satton," Shoma started, watching his girlfriend place her water bottle next to her and then tying her hair back in a ponytail. She had been different since she came for practice, less enthusiastic about seeing the rest of the skaters that she had been talking about to him all summer and even less cheerful about seeing him. The quick kiss they shared during the lunch break felt half-hearted, Shoma trying not to mind how Satoko froze when he pulled her closer, as if she didn't want him touching her. He had let her go almost immediately then, but didn't have the chance to ask when Yuzuru and Alex bounded right by them and asked what Shoma was having for lunch. They were a little less busy now. He sat next to her and softly asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, sitting down and leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes. "I'm just tired."

Shoma reached for her hand, enclosing it with his. Satoko makes no effort at acknowledging his touch. "Really?" His voice was soft. He watched Satoko inhale and then letting that breath out. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him, her teeth worrying over her bottom lip, uncertainty and, something else, an expression Shoma couldn’t decipher, written all over features. Shoma felt his heart sink.

"I kissed a boy yesterday." This time, she took both his hands and gave them a squeeze. Shoma had frozen in place, feeling his heart sink even deeper and then hearing this buzz in his ears getting louder and louder before he realized that he was getting angry. Satoko sensed this and quickly let go of his hands. "I.. I didn't know how to tell you. We had been drinking after dinner to celebrate the last day of summer school and I think I got so drunk and he kissed me and I kissed him back and--" she breaks off in a sob.

Shoma found himself sliding away from Satoko, the words _I kissed a boy yesterday_ replaying themselves over and over again in his mind. He felt furious and disappointed and mostly confused. He was almost thankful Satoko had let go of his hands because they were shaking with the effort to stay calm. Nothing made sense. Did Satoko send him a good night text the night before after kissing a boy, a boy that's not him? _How dare she_.

"Shoma," Satoko's murmured in between tears. She was sniffling and had slid closer, her knee bumping into Shoma's thigh. "Say something. Please. I know you're angry. I'm sorry, I really am. That was fucking stupid of me."

"Stop talking," Shoma finally said. He stood, curling his hands into fists. "Don't touch me," he snapped, pulling his hand away when Satoko reached out for it and took a step back.

"I love you," Satoko said thickly, starting to cry again, her eyes pleading as she reached for Shoma once more. "I really do. I'm sorry, Shoma. I know I fucked up and I know you hate me now, but I love you so much-"

"You're ridiculous," Shoma breathed. The ache in his chest had spread everywhere and Shoma felt numb, especially knowing with all of his heart that Satoko had been speaking the truth about loving him and he hated himself even more in admitting that he was in love with Satoko Miyahara and he loved her so much as well, even then. He wanted to hold Satoko close; she had burst into fresh tears and as if on reflex, he takes a step closer before staggering back again. No. He was still angry. He feels like breaking something. The words that come out of his mouth next felt like venom. "You're fucking ridiculous. You don't get to say that to me. If you loved me, you wouldn't have kissed him back. Am I allowed to kiss other girls now? Is that it?”

Satoko shook her head and cried even harder, burying her face in her hands. Her sobs, though soft, echoed through the empty backstage. They heard footsteps and Satoko hiccuped, and tried to wipe her tears away.

It was Yuzuru. "Hey, you guys ready to leave-" Yuzuru stopped in his tracks and stared at the both of them. He noticed immediately the anger emanating from Shoma, the fists by his sides, the hard line of his shoulders. The scowl Shoma had on his face, directed at Satoko whose cheeks were flushed from the crying. Yuzuru took a few tentative steps closer to the two skaters and startled at the tears in Shoma's eyes as well. "What's going on?"

"What did you do, Sho?" Yuzuru asked when he was greeted by silence, the accusing tone and protectiveness in his voice so apparent making Shoma turn to look at him incredulously. Yuzuru had glared right back, squaring his own shoulders, before narrowing his eyes at Shoma. "Why is Satton crying?"

" _Fuck_ ," Shoma cursed before turning around to leave. Yuzuru sticks out an arm, inevitably stopping Shoma and gave him a questioning look. "Fucking ask her what she did, Yuzuru." He watched Yuzuru startle at the use of his full name; Shoma had always called him "Yuzu", like the rest of the team and it felt awfully disconcerting even to his own ears. They have always been on friendly terms, after all. But he resented how Yuzuru had seemingly sided with Satoko immediately without knowing the full story. Shoma tersely told Yuzuru this, his voice low with barely contained anger. "For once, I'm not the fuck up here."

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

"I shouldn't have assumed you're the one made Satton cry." Yuzuru had said, his voice coming out slow and careful. He watched Shoma nod and stare into the distance. "It's okay if you don't want to talk to me right now. I just wanted to check up on you."

"I love her," Shoma confessed softly, burying his face in his hands, knowing fully well that he would burst into tears if he as much as looked at Yuzuru. "The whole time she was telling me about it, I.. I still love her. She had been drunk. And she's sorry. I'm so fucking angry but I still love her."

"Then tell her," Yuzuru advised, voice soft as he winded an arm across Shoma's shoulders. He shook him slightly before letting his hand settle to Shoma’s back, stroking him gently. "What she did was shitty but... I think she really meant it when she said she's sorry. You don't have to forgive her now but please talk to each other.”

“I want to break that bastard’s face.”

“And his ankles,” Yuzuru said jokingly, smiling softly when Shoma finally looked up at him to give him an incredulous look. “But she kissed him, too. And… and she told you about it the next day because she felt so guilty about it. She knows it was a fucking stupid mistake, Sho. I think she loves you so much and… it’s clear you do, too.”  


✧✧✧✧✧

 

The journey back to Nagoya felt empty. The rest of the ice show went by in a blur and when it ended, Shoma found himself frozen in place at the goodbye hug Satoko gave him, her soft voice whispering apologies before gently kissing his cheek. The rest of the skaters hadn’t ask questions about them drifting apart and avoiding each other throughout the show which Shoma had been so grateful for. He had posed for a few friendly pictures for the cameras but careful to keep his distance from Satoko. Wakaba and Rika had shot them questioning glances and Shoma observed how they huddled up to Satoko, arms slung over her thin shoulders and checking up on her. He felt exhausted and all he wanted was the comfort of home. Mindless gaming sessions with Itsuki. His mother’s dinners. Everything had felt too much and Shoma hated how he used to share these overwhelmingly negative emotions with Satoko and now he couldn’t.

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

The break up with Satoko felt like eternal suffering. It felt even worse than Boston and Shoma did not compare things lightly when it came to that competition. He had lost count of the nights he had spent looking over the pictures he had with Satoko, rereading their text messages, reminiscing about the times they had together. And then, that night. The kiss with the boy she told him about. How in that moment Shoma saw the tears well up in her eyes and had wanted to hold her close. How his first emotion was not anger but disappointment and confusion because he realized how much he loved Satoko that he had been willing to forgive her there and then. Itsuki had called him stupid. “You don’t process your emotions long enough, that’s why you’re crying so much right now,” had been the scalding words Itsuki offered when Shoma told him about it. “Be angry. You deserve every right to be angry.”

“But is it okay if I want to get back together with her?” Shoma had asked before shaking his head at the question. It sounded ridiculous to ask his teenage brother but Itsuki’s reply was surprising.

“Of course,” Itsuki said, smiling. He leaned back into the sofa and rubbed at his eyes. It had been rather late. “If you love her more than that.”

Shoma responded with silence watching his brother stagger to his bedroom, yawning, half marveling at the wisdom Itsuki displayed despite his young age and also half amused. He wondered if Itsuki had been watching too many romantic anime. 

 

✧✧✧✧✧

 

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and Shoma was mindlessly channel surfing when he heard knocks on the door. Shoma sat up in confusion. His parents couldn’t have been home this early since they had been to a wedding lunch reception earlier and he didn’t think Itsuki would have any friends over as he had been napping in his room.

He dragged his feet to the door and pressed the button on the intercommunicator to see who the guest was. And there was Satoko, head comically enlarged as she knocked on the door once more. Shoma took a breath and opened the door.

“It’s you,” Shoma greeted and watched Satoko’s eyes widened at the less than friendly greeting. Shoma closed his eyes and inwardly berated himself for the terrible greeting. He offered a smile and waved. “Long time no see.”

She gives him a small smile, before waving at him awkwardly. "Are you going to let me in?"

Of course Shoma was going to let her in. They had not seen each other in weeks since the fight, Shoma ignoring all the video calls and text messages and refusing to contact Satoko. He had been trying to think about their relationship and while he busied himself with training, he realized again and again how much he still loved Satoko and wanted her in his life. And he had been angry. So, so angry. Contacting her first felt like he was losing but this wasn’t a competition. Shoma knew that and yet.

But seeing her at the door now, knowing that she had taken some time off training and traveled all the way from Kyoto to visit him, her hair loosely falling on her shoulders, cheeks pink from summer heat is enough to make his heart soften once more. He could feel his resolve starting to crumble and he smiled, despite himself, realizing how yet again he had fallen in love with Satoko Miyahara. She looked _beautiful_ and Shoma marveled at how she had managed to do it every single time, capturing his heart in the simplest of ways. He opened the door a little wider and beckoned for her to come inside, immediately grabbing the bags that Satoko had been holding. He tried not remain calm when their fingers brush against each other, leading her into the house and then placing the bags in the kitchen. She had came with snacks and gifts for his parents.

"My parents are out," Shoma said, gesturing at his living room for Satoko to take a seat. "Itsuki's napping in his room." He headed to the kitchen and called out, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"I'll have a vegetable juice, please,” Satoko replied jokingly, following him into the kitchen.  She smiled when Shoma let out a chuckle, feeling the tension in her shoulders ease for the first time that day. She had been worrying the whole trip to Nagoya, worried about how Shoma was to receive her. If Shoma had forgiven her. If they can be even a semblance of what they had been before.

She had missed seeing Shoma so much she felt breathless having him in the same room; even the sight of Shoma's back was enough to send her heart aflutter. Years of dating and being in love with Shoma Uno had always been that magical and Satoko was thankful the magic hadn’t faded yet. "I miss you so much, Sho." She watched Shoma froze over the counter, just for a few seconds, before he continued getting some cans of juice out of the refrigerator. There weren’t any vegetable juice, though, because Shoma did not have disgusting eating habits. He told Satoko this and she laughed.

Satoko sat herself across Shoma, the cans of drinks on the table between them opened but untouched. She had prepared a speech for this knowing that she couldn’t possibly wing this elaborate attempt at an apology. “I came to-”

"I forgive you," Shoma said quickly, cutting Satoko off and before he changed his mind. He took a deep breath and placed his elbows on the table, intertwining his fingers together and then rested his chin on his hands. "I'm not angry at you anymore. I mean... what you did really hurt me but I think. I think I love you more than that."

Satoko blinked and finally let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Shoma was smiling at her and again, Satoko felt her heart race. She had no words left in her to tell Shoma how much she had missed seeing that smile. She stood up and walked over to his side, before drawing him close, one hand at the back of his head guiding it to rest against her chest, grateful that Shoma did not push her away.

Shoma realized too that he had terribly missed this, as he circled his arms around Satoko's waist, looking up at her face, thinking I love you so much and feeling as though his heart would burst at the sight of Satoko's now smiling face, her lips curled softly into the smile he had always loved. With one hand still on Satoko's waist, Shoma let his finger trace the moles on her cheek and felt his heart thundered against his chest at the hitch in Satoko's breath, her body pliant upon that small touch. She looked beautiful and days of not seeing her face just accentuated that beauty even more and Shoma felt all of his past hurt and anger dissipate when Satoko leaned to press a kiss to his forehead. He closed his eyes, savoring the touch of her lips against his skin and pulled her even closer.

"I don't deserve you," Satoko had whispered. She repeated herself when Shoma shook his head before pressing yet another kiss, this time to the corner of his mouth as Shoma guided her to sit on his lap. "I really don't deserve you. I love you."

Shoma kissed her full on the mouth, thumb on her jaw, gentle and coaxing. "I love you, Satton." He deepened the kiss when he felt Satoko's smile against his lips. She had his favorite lip balm on. She tasted wonderful.

"You've made up," came a monotonous voice from the corner of the room and Satoko jumped, though still keeping her hand on Shoma's shoulder. Itsuki had woken up from his nap and looked unimpressed at catching his brother and Satoko making out. "That's good. Shoma was pining for you like crazy, you have no idea."

"Shut your mouth!" Shoma scolded, glaring at Itsuki which made Satoko laughed. She smiled fondly at Shoma and he returned the smile before groaning at his brother. "Why do you have to wake up so early?"

Itsuki did not respond as he approached Satoko, his mouth in a thin line. "Brotherly instincts?" He pointed his chin at Satoko as a greeting and said, "What you did was shitty, okay?" Shoma hissed in warning and signaled for Itsuki to stop but Satoko shook her head, smiling nervously at Itsuki. "She knows it. So don't do that again. Ever. I may be younger than the  both of you but I am bigger and taller. Don't hurt my brother like that again."

"I promise," Satoko solemnly said and glanced at Shoma and then at Itsuki. She reached out for Shoma’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “And I am so sorry. I know that was the worst-”

“Go back to your room, Itsuki,” Shoma sighed and shooting an apologetic look at Satoko before waving his brother away. “We’re good. I’m good. I’ll let you know the next time I need your height and size to help me with girlfriend troubles.”

But Itsuki had already wandered to the kitchen, obviously waking up hungry and in search for food. “Sweet, are these snacks from Kyoto?” he asked from the kitchen. They could hear him rustling through the bags. “Wait. These are not for my parents, right? Shit, I think I accidentally tore something open-”

Shoma rolled his eyes. Satoko laughed aloud, before she headed to the kitchen herself to help Itsuki with the snacks.

**Author's Note:**

> Watching Itsuki's interviews about Shoma and learning more about Shoma than Shoma himself just sparked all these brotherly/sibling feels in me hahahaha.. Just thinking of how Shoma would deal with an angsty teenage brother :P I'll probably let these be a series although not necessarily of the Uno brothers but more of the other skaters especially Satoko and Yuzuru!


End file.
